Quantum Catnip | Azul's Research

DATA_COMPARISON: THEORY VS REALITY

LOG_041 (The Schrödinger Protocol):
• Observation: Subject (Azul) maintains ocular focus on sealed container.
• Quantum State: Treats exist in "Unattainable Deliciousness" (Open/Closed superposition).
• Result: Kitchen gravity increased by 12% due to intense staring.

LOG_042 (The Storage Breach):
• Observation: "Neural Purr" successfully bypassed magnetic latch.
• Quantum State: Superposition collapsed. Catnip flooding detected.
• Result: Absolute success. Subject "Mochkil" entered 5th-dimension zoomies.

ABSTRACT: This paper explores the "hyper-zoomie" state induced by catnip (Nepeta cataria). We hypothesize that the molecules exist in a state of quantum superposition, allowing the feline brain to exist in two rooms simultaneously.

OBSERVATION_01

Upon inhalation, the subject (me) experienced a shift in the local space-time continuum. The living room rug expanded by 400%.

QUANTUM_DATA

Superposition reached at 15mg concentration. Pupil dilation suggests access to the 5th dimension. Potential for teleporting directly into the treat cabinet is high.